Trip Update (AKA Theological Musings Re: Faith, Hope, and Grace)

I leave for Palestine in 5 weeks.

As of today, I have received over half the money I need to pay for the trip! I am amazed and humbled by the money I have received, bringing my fundraising goal down from $1700 to $850. It has been such a blessing to receive money from people who didn't even receive a letter, but "found out" from others. I hardly know what to say.

The fact that friends and family (and strangers!) are making this trip a reality for me is doing just that...making the trip feel very real. I have had trouble sleeping and there have been a couple nights where I wake up and my heart is racing. Lucky for me, Martha Stewart comes on the air at 3 in the morning in Denver. The world seems like a much less scary place when you're watching Martha Stewart make paper birds.

I used to believe in a God who would protect people from harm if they prayed hard enough. It seems only fair that if you decide to seek God's will and follow it, you should be spared a certain amount of suffering and pain. However, now I know that's not how God works. God does not promise we won't suffer. God does not promise that everything will "be okay" in the ways we want it to be okay. I wish I believed that God kept airplanes from crashing or that God would keep me safe in Palestine. Unfortunately, God doesn't promise any of these things.

But I DO believe God promises to be present. To be with us at all times. To be in us. To be in the people around us who bring us comfort. Faith doesn't mean believing that nothing bad will happen, it means trusting in God's presence no matter what happens.

One of my favorite songs that we sing in chapel at Iliff is called, "You are mine." It goes like this:

I will come to you in the silence
I will lift you from all your fear
You will hear my voice
I claim you as my choice
Be still and know I am here.

I am hope for all who are hopeless
I am eyes for all who long to see
In the shadows of the night,
I will be your light
Come and rest in me.

Do not be afraid, I am with you
I have called you each by name
Come and follow me
I will bring you home
I love you and you are mine.



I try to hear these words in the middle of the night when I am afraid. Perhaps God comforts me through Martha Stewart and her paper birds! =)

I told Greta how nervous I was getting and she reminded me about being in United Methodist History together and reading Grace Sufficient, the story of women in early Methodism who were called to ministry. Despite their fears and feelings of inadequacy, they professed their belief that, regardless of their insufficiencies, God's grace would be sufficient. Greta told me, "Remember, Tiffany. Grace is like manna. You get just what you need for the day."

Last night was our last Disciple class and the class gave me a remarkable gift. They bought me three silver rings that I can wear separately or together as a trio. One ring has the word, "Faith," one "Hope," and the third, "Grace." I could not have asked for a more perfect gift. I am wearing all three right now as I type. They are physical, tangible reminders of God's presence!