Running a 10K, also known as, Learning to Love my Body

I posted below about my decision to enter a 10K race. I've run a couple of miles here and there for the past 4 years, but I have never trained for a race before. 

David has been telling me for years that running is more mental than it is physical. I've never really believed him. However, when I was discerning whether or not I could sign up for a 10K race, I realized how many negative things I thought about myself when I was running. I had what felt like a news ticker scrolling silently at the bottom of my mind when I was running that said things like this: You're not really a runner. If people saw you running, they would laugh at you. Who do you think you are? You're too tired to do this. You're too lazy to do this. If you tried to run a 10K, you would be the slowest runner there. 

You get the idea. 

I decided that this race was important to me. Not only because I was running for a cause I believed in, but because it would require me to change the way I talked to myself. It would require me to be kinder to myself. To learn to appreciate what my body is capable of doing. 

Last week, I figured it was time to get serious about training. I told myself that I was going to run 3 miles without stopping. (I've never done that before) Before I got on the treadmill, I told my body how grateful I was for it. I told it that it was amazing. That I didn't care if I was the slowest runner at the race, I was just grateful for legs that worked, for a heart that pumped blood to my legs, for lungs that filled me with oxygen. And as each mile passed me by, I told my body what a phenomenal job it was doing. My new ticker would read something like this: Great job, body! You are doing such an amazing job! I know you would LIKE to stop, but I'd really appreciate if you could run just a LITTLE bit further. Thank you SO much for cooperating!

You may think I'm a total looney, but it's working! Last week, I ran a total of 10 miles and this week I have increased my daily mileage to 4 miles. I still have 2.2 miles to go in order to be ready. I still may be the slowest runner at the race. But, I am learning to love my body and that is enough. 

Run for Congo Women

I've followed the work of Women For Women International for a couple of years so, when I heard they were hosting a 10K in Colorado, I decided to sign up!

Here's what their website says about the situation in the Democratic Republic of the Congo:

Over the past decade, a brutal conflict has devastated much of the eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), leaving the country without a functioning infrastructure and most families in a state of crisis. More than five million people have died as a result of the violent conflict, most through disease and malnutrition and. Women are often directly targeted by combatants using rape and other forms of sexual violence as a weapon of war.

 

Women for Women International in DR Congo is currently assisting almost 7,000 women through financial support and a one year program that includes rights awareness, health education, and skills training. The organization works with communities in Bukavu, Goma, Fizi and Baraka in the heavily affected South and North Kivu provinces in Eastern Congo.

There are two ways that YOU can help:

1. Sponsor a woman living in the DRC. For $27 a month, you can help change the life of a Congolese woman. The direct assistance from sponsorship will help them to pay for food, medicine, and other lifesaving needs. It also supports the educational efforts of Women for Women International. To become a sponsor, click here. 

2. Participate in my 10K fundraiser by donating to my page. Make a secure, online donation by clicking here. 

The race is Saturday, September 19th, so please help me reach my goal before then!

"There are plenty of people who pray for peace, but if praying were enough, it would have come to be." 

--Jewel

David's 14er

Yesterday David went with our friend, Matt, and hiked a 14er. (A peak that is higher than 14,000 feet) They hiked Mt. Antero and took some incredible pictures! 

I ♥ Colorado

I am beginning to feel like my blog is a real "downer" SO, in case you're feeling that way too, here are some pictures from Carrie and Greg's recent visit to Colorado. We drove to the top of Mt. Evans and got some spectacular views of the state I have fallen in love with. =)

Called by God, Ordained by the Church

Last week I took United Methodist Polity and it was impossible not to face my lack of progress in the candidacy process. I am MORE than 2/3 done with my seminary education, I will graduate in June, and I cannot get certified. I didn't seek out certification until November of 2007, even though many of my friends started seminary as certified candidates. However, I never anticipated that, 21 months later, I still wouldn't be certified. 

The reasons for this are many--some of them are my fault and some of them are not. (Although, when I cried to my pastor at Trinity yesterday his first words to me were "This is unacceptable." Not the fact that I was crying, but the fact that I've had so much trouble getting people in my conference to pay any attention to me, respond to emails, phone calls, etc) 

I am feeling frustrated. I cry when I think about it. I feel anxious about graduating from seminary and having no job. The lack of progress makes me question my call; I can't help but think that maybe I'm not really called. The Church doesn't really want me. 

BUT, when I said these things to Greta, she told me, "Tiffany, there is a difference between being ordained by the Church and being called by God." And, after being in Israel/Palestine, I have to tell myself that she's right. Regardless of whether or not I can get ordained in my home conference, I know that I am called by God to serve in ministry, whether I am ordained by the Church or not. 

I also take comfort in Psalm 139, which was read in worship this past Sunday: 

O Lord, you have searched me and known me. 

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

you discern my thoughts from far away.

You search out my path and my lying down, 

and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue, 

O Lord, you know it completely. 

You hem me in, behind and before, 

and lay your hand upon me. 

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; 

it is so high that I cannot attain it. 

Where can I go from your spirit? 

Or where can I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there;

if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.

If I take the wings of the morning

and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me, 

and your right hand shall hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,

and the light around me become night,"

even the darkness is not dark to you; 

the night is as bright as the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

For it was you who formed my inward parts;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works; 

that I know very well. 

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret, 

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.

In your book were written 

all the days that were formed for me, 

when none of them as yet existed.

How weighty to me are your thoughts, 

O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

I try to count them--they are more than the sand;

I come to the end--I am still with you. 

The Children's March

I wrote about the march to Tuba in an earlier blog post here. Here is a short video of the kids walking to Tuba. 

A couple of videos

Here are a couple of videos that were taken in Tuba. The first one is long, however, if you skip to the end, you will get to meet one of the shepherds! The footage is pretty shaky, but it gives you a sense of how young the shepherds are, how many sheep they are responsible for, and what the terrain is like. 

Click here for the first one and here for the second one. 

The second video is also long (almost 4 minutes) and was taken by a fellow delegation member while we were detained. The older man with the weapon (and the red crocs!) is "settler security" and he is arguing with Shaun, one of the CPT full-time staff. Ahmed, in orange, is filming the entire conversation with his video camera from B'tselem. You can also see how young the soldiers are in the background. What you can't tell from the video is how bleepin' hot it was...

Pictures from Tuba

I wrote about staying in Tuba here, but now I have the pictures and can show you Omar's family and farm!

Check Points and Refugee Camps

After spending the first 2 days of our delegation in Jerusalem, we headed to Bethlehem. Bethlehem should be a 20-minute taxi ride from Jerusalem, however, it takes much longer because you have to enter the West Bank (Bethlehem is in the West Bank) through a checkpoint. 

Our van driver dropped us off at the checkpoint and we waited in the long line to have our passports checked. Palestinians who wish to enter/exit the West Bank must have a permit to do so. Even with a permit, it can take a LONG time to pass through security. Just to give you an idea, we met a Palestinian friend of CPT in Jerusalem who lives near Bethlehem and it took him an hour and 45 minutes to make the journey. 

Here we are at the checkpoint:

It wasn't difficult for us to get through the checkpoint because we are Americans. Once we got through, we took a taxi to Bethlehem. 

One of the most meaningful experiences, for me, was going to Aida refugee camp in Bethlehem. About 4,500 Palestinian refugees live in Aida and more than half of the people living in the camp are children. Their families have been living in the camp since they were pushed out of their villages when the state of Israel was created in 1948. Although many of their villages were located just a few miles away from the camp, the refugees are not allowed to return to their land. 

The key is a significant symbol for the refugees because it symbolizes their hope that they will someday return to their land. Because many Palestinians fled quickly and were not sure how long they would be gone, many families took only their keys when they left in 1948. Most likely, their homes have been destroyed or were occupied by Jews, however, they still hold onto the key. 

In 2004, Israel began building a 3-story concrete wall just a few meters from the houses of the camp. This wall is part of a system of walls and fences being built by Israel throughout the West Bank. Many Palestinians who live next to the wall call it a separation wall because it separates them from their farmland, their neighbors, and open land. 

We met a man named Rich who works at the Lajee Center in Aida Refugee Camp. "Lajee" means refugee in Arabic and the Lajee Center serves as a youth center for children and teens who live in the refugee camp. According to their website, their mission is to develop social awareness in refugee youth. 

"Activities are organised with the goal of fostering in the participants a wider understanding of the world in which they live, focusing on issues relating specifically to their own society, culture and history, as well as the global context. Our hope is to develop the social awareness of the children, deepen their education and provide them with the critical skills necessary for them to take on an active role in their society."

Rich told us the story of Miras, a young boy who was playing on his balcony and was shot in the stomach by an Israeli soldier who was shooting from a watchtower. He was hospitalized for 6 days. He also told us about Mahmud, a 13-year-old boy who was feeding his dog and was arrested by Israeli soldiers. He was blindfolded, handcuffed, beaten, and put in prison where he was not fed. Because he was in "administrative detention," he had no access to a lawyer and was being held without being charged of anything. He was released, eventually, and Rich told us that arresting children is a tactic used by Israeli police because they believe they can get more information out of children. The "information" the police gather doesn't have to be true, but they are able to coerce children into signing statements that incriminate various persons in the community and then Israel can make an arrest. 

The thing I love about Rich's work with the youth is that he uses his expertise as a photographer and videographer to help the youth tell their stories. By teaching them filmmaking and photography, the youth are given a chance to document their anxieties, fears, hopes, and experiences. The photographs and videos are then shared with the community outside of Aida as a way of educating people about life in the refugee camp. (In the picture below, Rich is pointing to photographs that have all been taken by children and youth.)

Some Background Info

I haven't posted for awhile--partly because I was in class all of last week and partly because I needed a break from talking about my trip. I've spent a lot of time thinking and processing and I finally feel ready to tell some of the stories.

Plus, I "dumped" a whole bunch of pictures on Facebook with no explanations and I didn't want to do that here. 

First of all, here is some important "lingo" for you to know. I should have posted this BEFORE my trip, but I was too busy trying to prevent an anxiety attack! =)

"Nakba": An Arabic word, "catastrophe," used to describe the events that took place in 1948 when Zionists proclaimed the establishment of the State of Israel. In 1948, Israel took over a land that was filled with Palestinian peoples. The Israeli army deported a million Palestinians from their cities and villages, massacred civilians, and razed to the ground hundreds of Palestinian villages. Those Palestinians who were not forcibly removed from their homes usually fled out of fear. Zionists then destroyed or inhabited these "abandoned" homes. For more information on the Nakba, click here. 

"Green Line": The Green Line refers to the international boundary line that was agreed upon after the 1948 Arab-Israeli war. It delineated the boundary line of the new state of Israel. In 1967, Israel invaded Gaza and the West Bank and has occupied those Palestinian territories ever since. (Gaza is the strip on the left of the map and the West Bank is the area on the right of the map between the Sea of Galilee in the north and the Dead Sea in the south.)

"Settlements": Once Israel occupied Gaza and the West Bank, they began confiscating land from Palestinians. One way of doing this is by sending in the military and establishing a "closed military zone." The militarized zone, even though it is on Palestinian land, cannot be accessed by Palestinians. Soon after, the militarized zones are spotted with settler outposts and the settler outposts grow into settlements. Settlers are Jews who move to the West Bank illegally. Some Jews settle there because it is cheap land and the houses are subsidized. (One of the CPT staff told us that settlers can get a house near Bethlehem for around $100,000.) Other Jews settle there because they are ideological settlers and they believe the land was given to them in the Bible. 

The settlements are heavily guarded by Israeli soldiers and it is estimated that, in Hebron, soldiers outnumber settlers 3:1. The soldiers are there to protect settlers from Palestinian "terrorists." 

The settlements also control all the water. For example, Tuwani and Tuba, two Palestinian villages, have a large Jewish settlement between them called Ma'On. Neither Tuwani nor Tuba have running water, however, Ma'On has not only running water, but enough water to irrigate cherry orchards and fill their swimming pools. Ma'On also has electricity. Tuba has NO electricity (although Omar's family had one solar panel on top of their cave that they use to charge their video camera from B'tselem) and Tuwani only has electricity for a couple of hours each night that comes from a generator. (Below: Tuwani is the small village on the left and Ma'On is the settlement on the hill on the right, Bottom: A closer view of Ma'On)

Pictures: Part 1

Home

After nearly 30 hours of travel, we are HOME! We arrived in Denver this morning and David was there to greet us. 

I didn't sleep much on the flight and it is nearly 10pm in Jerusalem so I am VERY tired. I am anxious to post more about the trip and will post pictures as soon as my memory card arrives. We mailed all our CPT stuff so it was easier to get through Israeli security! 

MUCH LOVE!

Sabah el Kheir

Sabah el Kheir! I may not have spelled it right, but this is Arabic for "Good Morning," or "Morning of Well-Being." It's not morning here, but it is morning in the US, so, "Sabah el Kheir." =)

We returned to Jerusalem last night and I had my first real shower in 8 days. It was WONDERFUL!

I am still processing the days we spent in At-Tuwani, a small village in the Hebron Hills where CPT has a full-time presence. The more I learn about CPT, the more I appreciate the work they do. They do not plan actions or lead events in At-Tuwani, they work with and follow the lead of the Palestinian people who live in Tuwani. They have been asked by the villagers to be there and they listen closely to their Palestinian partners in an effort to support their non-violent resistance.

Tuwani has no public water system.There is no electricity. The village has a generator, so the power comes on for a couple of hours each night, but that's it. Thanks to the joint efforts of the people in Tuwani and various NGOs, Tuwani has a clinic and a school. Located on the hill right above Tuwani is the Jewish settlement, Ma'On. Ma'On looks like a Californian suburb, complete with large homes (paid for in large part by YOUR tax dollars, my friends), cherry orchards, and swimming pools. It is hard to wrap your brain around.

Thursday night, five of us went with some of the full-time CPT staff to Tuba. Tuba is an even smaller village than Tuwani--there is no water, no electricity, and no road. Because the walk from Tuwani to Tuba goes past the settlement, we had to stay off the main road and hike up and down the hills. It was physically exhausting. Not to mention the fact that we had to constantly look over our shoulders in case there were settlers with baseball bats.

We split up in Tuba and Greta and I stayed with Omar's family. Omar and his wife have 10 children and they live in a cave. They used to store feed in the cave, but when their house was burned down by settlers, they moved into the cave and use it as their home.

Omar's family raises sheep, goats, chickens, and doves. They also have a donkey and LOTS of dogs. We had a blast playing with their kids. They didn't speak any English and we didn''t speak Arabic, so they mostly pushed us and pulled us to get us to do what they wanted!

Omar's family was SO hospitable. They fed us dinner in the cave and served us tea. Once the kids fell asleep, Omar began talking (our CPT person translated) about life in Tuba and how hard it is. He told us "Thank You" for coming to dinner with Arabs and we assured him that the pleasure was ours.

They sleep outside in the summer so we did too. I can't wait to put the pictures on the blog--we woke up in the morning and there were sheep at the bottom of our mats!

Friday morning we went with Ahmed, Omar's 16-year-old son, and Redwan, his 19-year-old nephew to the hills with their flocks. When I pictured Palestinian shepherds, I did not picture teenage boys! Ahmed and Redwan are actually the oldest of the shepherds, the other boys are around 10 years old. I was totally amazed by their skill in shepherding hundreds of sheep!

We had been walking for about an hour and a half when they stopped to rest near the settlement. While we were sitting there, we saw 4 army soldiers on the hill across from us. I asked Jessica (our CPT person) what we should do and she said, "We wait to see what the shepherds want us to do. If they want to leave, we will leave. If they want to stay, we will stay with them."

They decided to stay and my heart started to pound. It wasn't too much longer before the army jeep came rolling over the hill, along with the police, the settler security, and a crazed settler named Jehosophat. I wasn't sure whether I was more afraid of being arrested by the army or beaten up by the settlers.

Two of the soldiers came down to where we were and there was an exchange in Arabic. Ahmed, the 16-year-old, had received one of B'tselem's video cameras in their "Shooting Back" campaign and he immediately started filming. (The idea is that soldiers are less likely to commit violence against Palestinians if they know they are being filmed) They told the boys they were on "State land" and could not be there. The boys said they had every right to be there and refused to leave.

It was agreed that the younger boys would take the sheep and go home, but Ahmed and Redwan stayed. The army asked for identification and took all of our passports.

There was a lot of confusion. The army made a lot of phone calls. We were told that we had to wait until the DCO (the civil administration) came because they would bring official maps and could determine whether or not the shepherds had a right to be there. When the DCO finally showed up, they had no maps and instead relied on the maps that the settlers had, which showed the land belonged to the settlement.

Three hours later, they decided to let us (the internationals) go AFTER we signed a form in Hebrew. We had to sign it in order to get our passports back, but CPT instructed us to make sure we wrote "I do not understand Hebrew" next to our signature. They called us to the police car one by one to sign and I know they were trying to intimidate us.

They let Ahmed go, but put Redwan in the police car. They told us they were taking him to the police station in order to "help him figure out" which land he could be on. I will never forget what it felt like to look at Redwan as they shut the police car door. He looked right at me and, knowing no Arabic, I gave him a thumb's up. It felt dumb as soon as I did it, but he smiled and gave me a thumb's up back. I believe he felt like he was doing what he had to do--he had chosen not to leave and this was the consequence. He's 19 years old--a year younger than my brother--and he was taken to the police station because he took his family's sheep to a hill on their own land. It's total bullshit. Absolute and total bullshit.

The walk back to Tuwani was pretty quiet and everyone was glad when we returned. I hadn't cried while were being detained (a small miracle!) but it felt good to cry when we got back to Tuwani. We still don't know what happened to Redwan, but, knowing Redwan and his family, it is likely they will continue taking their sheep to the same place. We aren't there anymore, but the resistance continues...