Enough Answers for Today

Well, it's official. We'll be in Denver one more year.

We didn't arrive at this decision easily or without grief. When we left Kansas three years ago, we promised our families we would return when I graduated. And we do plan on returning, but not yet.

David has a great job waiting for him at Denver Health as an RN, pending his passage of the board exam. Trinity is piecing together a VERY part-time job for me. It won't be a lot, but it will hopefully be enough to keep me feeling like my Master's degree wasn't a total waste. =)

We don't know exactly what the next year will look like. Right now, we are trying to focus on David passing his exam, me graduating in June, and, of course, preparing for the newest little Baker to arrive this summer.

I still don't know about my ordination process or where I might like to serve, but we have enough answers for today.

Insomnia

I can't sleep.

Maybe it's the pregnancy-related heartburn.

Or maybe it's the fact that I still can't breathe through both nostrils and the past week of "I'm sick but can't take anything because I'm pregnant" is messing with my sleep cycle.

Or maybe it's because I'm graduating in 8 weeks and still have no real answer when people ask what I'm going to "do" when I'm done.

OR, maybe it's because I've been reading "Ina May's Guide To Childbirth" before I go to bed. Thinking about birth and labor and the fact that this baby is coming in three months does not help me relax before bed.

Or, maybe it's because I proclaim to be a person of faith but am feeling unable to discern what "next step" David and I should take. Today I actually googled "What should I do with my life?" (Nothing satisfactory came up) I also wrote "KC" on a sticky note and "Denver" on another sticky note, wadded them up, shuffled them around, and then made David pick one. So much for prayer--I'm thinking of buying a Magic 8 ball.

Maybe it's the hormones

I'm not sure what it is.

Maybe it's the hormones.

But I can't stop. I can't stop reading Kim and Patrick's blog. I can't stop reading articles about the history of Haiti and feeling sad about all the shitty U.S. policies that have helped make Haiti the poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere.

And, I can't stop this nagging feeling in my heart that God might be calling me (and by "me" I mean "us") to global ministry. I'm trying to ignore the nagging. Like I tried when I felt like maybe I should go to seminary. And when I felt like maybe I should go to Palestine. It's the same kind of obnoxious nagging.

Maybe it's the hormones...