Maybe it's the pregnancy-related heartburn.
Or maybe it's the fact that I still can't breathe through both nostrils and the past week of "I'm sick but can't take anything because I'm pregnant" is messing with my sleep cycle.
Or maybe it's because I'm graduating in 8 weeks and still have no real answer when people ask what I'm going to "do" when I'm done.
OR, maybe it's because I've been reading "Ina May's Guide To Childbirth" before I go to bed. Thinking about birth and labor and the fact that this baby is coming in three months does not help me relax before bed.
Or, maybe it's because I proclaim to be a person of faith but am feeling unable to discern what "next step" David and I should take. Today I actually googled "What should I do with my life?" (Nothing satisfactory came up) I also wrote "KC" on a sticky note and "Denver" on another sticky note, wadded them up, shuffled them around, and then made David pick one. So much for prayer--I'm thinking of buying a Magic 8 ball.
4 comments:
Oh, friend! So sorry. :( If you need some good relaxation tips let me know. I also have a great relaxation CD that is super helpful right before bed. I love that you went to google for help with life direction! :)
I think it's totally appropriate that you're struggling to know what to do next. It's so hard to know how exactly having a child will change us and I think, actually, it's good to let yourself have some space and time. I wonder if your psyche is just wanting to focus on having the baby before making more life decisions? Maybe your indecision is letting you know that it's okay to not know right now, to just let yourself do the hard work of growing Bambeano and move into be a mom and then to make a decision when you're ready? (Or maybe I'm just selfishly trying to keep you here?!?). Anyway, sending lots of love and peace your way. Let's get together soon!!!!
we need to get together asap! Saturday night we will talk. I've been feeling discouraged lately too. It wears on the soul. Sure do love reading your posts.
But remember that there are ALOT of family anf friends that keep the three of you in their thoughts and prayers every day! Both of you have worked hard to achieve the milestone to graduate with the education you were called to attain for your careers. AND the two of you have decided to start your family together. To say the least, that's alot of major events going on right now. So don't forget to pinch yourselves and enjoy the moment!! For what it's worth, I believe the path for you will show itself, once once you clear the hurdles of David's test, and your graduation (and a birth in the mix)! We are certain that the door(s) will open for you. You could say that there is a door open for David in Denver, but a door in KC will likely open as well in a few months. But it is hard to patiently wait for that time and not feel that everything has to be planned out aead of time.
Love you three, Opa
Sorry, you can't sleep. It is a hard time. Relax and enjoy! the answers will come. Love, Patty
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