training::day one::epic fail

I had psyched myself up to start training today. I was going to run 2 miles. If you read my last post, you know that 2 miles is double what I can comfortably run.

David was feeding the baby breakfast.

I put on my running shoes and my ratty running clothes. (Seriously, I think my sports bra is from my college days.)

I discovered that my ipod wasn't charged. No worries. I plugged in my mac and pulled up my "run" playlist.

I made it 1 minute and 53 seconds into my run before the belt on the treadmill broke.

I can't run outside because it's only 8 AM and already 1 gazillion degrees.

Day one: epic fail.

*Updated: I put the baby down for a nap and discovered it wasn't THAT hot out yet. I walked one lap around my neighborhood. Not great, but something!*

let the training begin!

OMG. I did it.

I registered for a half marathon.

OMG.

I can think of one billion reasons why that was a bad idea.

#1. I'm out of shape.

#2. I hate running. (Ok, that's not true. I LIKE running when I'm in shape. See reason #1.)

#3. I've only done ONE 10K.

#4. A half marathon is 13. 1 miles. OMG. THIRTEEN POINT ONE MILES. It might take me thirteen point ONE days to finish.

#5. I have a one-year-old. Finding time to get in shape isn't easy.

#6. I have hypoglycemia. It makes it hard to know what to eat in order to run long distances. I've put my hubby, the nurse and former athletic trainer, in charge of designing a nutrition plan for me.

#7. I'm out of shape.

#8. I'm out of shape.

#1 billion: I'm out of shape.

But here's the thing. I really want to do it. It's been in the back corner of my mind for a couple of years. And maybe there's no better time than NOW. When I just turned 30.

I'm excited. For real. And here's why:

#1. The race is in California. It's one of the flattest courses in the US. AND, it's next to the beach. Bonus.

#2. David & I are running it together. I love him. And I love running with him.

#3. Combine reason #1 with reason #2. It will be a vacation WITH him and WITHOUT the baby. California + David = poolside with umbrella drinks. OMG, that's enough motivation to run 13.1 miles right there.

I know it won't be easy. Right now I can run one, count it, ONE mile without dying. But, here's what I'm trying to remember:

#1. I didn't think I could ever run 6.2 miles. But I did.

#2. I gave birth. See this?

This never-seen-before-on-the-internet picture is of me pushing a baby out of my body. Surely, if I can push a baby out for 3 hours, I can run 13.1 miles.

We'll see. I'll keep y'all posted.

I'm back! ...sort of

Some of you may remember last September when I trained for and ran my first 10K. I was slow, but I ran the whole time without walking or stopping. Last September I was the healthiest I've ever been.

And then I got pregnant.

And I stopped running.

And I gained 48 pounds.

But on Tuesday I had my postpartum checkup and the doctor gave me the "go ahead" for exercise. So, this morning I put on my too-tight running clothes and dusted off nearly a year's worth of dust and dog hair from our treadmill.

And I "ran." I use the term loosely because it took me 17 minutes to run/walk one mile. My pelvic area hurt, places jiggled that never jiggled before, and my lungs felt like they were on fire. I felt like I was going to die.

But then I remembered that I pushed a nearly nine-pound baby out of my body for over 3 hours. And I pushed myself a little harder.

It wasn't pretty, but I did it. I ran. And, with any luck and a lot of sweat, I'll be back at my pre-baby running level soon.

Run For Congo Women on Oprah

Learning to Love My Body: 10K Success!

Well, I did it! =)

I would have posted sooner but we have been enjoying our time with Steve and Patty who came for the weekend. (I'll post that next!) 

David and I ran the 10K in 1:12. David was sweet and ran at my pace--I KNOW he could have finished in half the time. For most of the race I was the very last runner, but somewhere around mile 4 we caught up with some runners who had decided to walk and ended up NOT finishing last. It meant a lot to us that Steve and Patty were there at the finish line to cheer us on! 

I was able to keep the same (albeit slow) pace for the entire race and did not stop to walk. Before I run my next long race I will need to practice grabbing water from a water station and drinking it while running--a lot of it went up my nose!

The weather was perfect and Bear Creek Lake was a picturesque place to run. I was worried that, since all of my training had been on a treadmill, I would have trouble running on the trail. There were a couple of tricky places (hilly and rocky) that I had to REALLY slow down but I stayed upright the entire time. =) 

One of the most memorable things about the day was hearing from Ani* before the race. Ani is a woman who came to the United States a year ago from the Democratic Republic of the Congo. She told part of her story about what life was like for her in the DRC. She spoke about the violence of war, the raping of women, and the rejection of women by their families after they have been raped. She talked about the effects of war, violence, and rejection on women's minds, bodies, and spirits. She cried as she told us that she was a victim herself. 

And then another woman, someone who works with Women for Women International, put her arm around Ani, looked her in the eye and said something to this effect: Ani, you are a brave, brave woman. You are beautiful and courageous. What was done to you was NOT your fault. You have to remember that. It is a horrific thing that was done to you and we are so grateful that you are here to tell your story so that horrific things might be stopped. 

In a world where women's bodies are exploited, sold, violated, hypersexed, and undervalued I believe that, for women, learning to love and care for our own bodies is a theological issue. We must believe our own bodies, however well they function or however too small/too big our various parts may be, are sacred and holy. I think that this is part of the work that Women for Women International is doing in the world and I am grateful for your generous donations. (Thanks to you, David and I raised over $250!) 

So here's to Ani, here's to women, and here's to loving, loving, loving our bodies! 

Talking to Myself, Part 2

5 more days until the big day and I'm getting nervous. 

I still haven't made it to 6.2 miles but I'm hoping the adrenaline on race day will help me finish. Right now it takes me 54 minutes to run 5 miles so I'm estimating it will take me 1:15 to finish the 10K. My goal is to finish without walking and without dying. =)

My friend, Lauren, has recently written about her own journey toward becoming a runner. To read her post, click here. 

I wanted to share a few more things about my training process. If you're looking for ways to improve your time, train for long distances, or a regimented training schedule, you won't find it here. I know absolutely nothing about any of that. 

What I can share is what has worked for me as I have tried to transform my own thinking about myself. I wrote this post about learning to talk kindly to myself and I wanted to share a few of my other "tricks." 

First of all, I'm a firm believer that you have to focus on the good. When I was a teacher and had to do parent teacher conferences, I always, always started the conference by sharing something good about my student. Sometimes that was hard. Sometimes I had a student who was three grade levels behind in reading and math and who never turned in her homework, who got in trouble every day and had trouble getting along with her peers. Despite all this, I would search deep down and find something positive to say. "Ms. Johnson, your daughter sure has a lot of energy! I love that about her!" 

The same is true for training. Every day after I run, I make a list of things I did well that day. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I have to really dig deep to find something to be proud of. I kept running when I wanted to stop. I ran through that really painful cramp. I got out of bed this morning and went for a run even though I didn't want to. 

Doing this takes the emphasis off how far or how long I ran (because I'm NOT always proud of that) and focuses on the good. I believe that, just like with my students, being kind and gentle is more effective than beating myself up for what I can't do. 

Finally, I keep track of every day I run by circling the date in my calendar. Again, this takes the focus off of how far I ran and instead reminds me how hard I am working. Running is tricky. You have good days and bad days. Just because I ran 5 miles last week with no pain doesn't mean I can do it today. It is frustrating, but that's how it goes. Instead of focusing on the distance, I focus on the number of days that I get up and run. 

I hope this helps! I'd love to hear about your own struggles with running or with talking kindly to yourself!

10K Update

The good news is, I'm up to 5 miles! Only 1.2 miles to go. 

The bad news is, the race is two weeks from tomorrow and I'm nowhere near my fundraising goal. Would you consider donating $10 to my 10K race? That's only ONE dollar for each kilometer that I run and your $10 will help Women for Women International support women living in the Congo. 

To make a secure donation, click here. 

Running a 10K, also known as, Learning to Love my Body

I posted below about my decision to enter a 10K race. I've run a couple of miles here and there for the past 4 years, but I have never trained for a race before. 

David has been telling me for years that running is more mental than it is physical. I've never really believed him. However, when I was discerning whether or not I could sign up for a 10K race, I realized how many negative things I thought about myself when I was running. I had what felt like a news ticker scrolling silently at the bottom of my mind when I was running that said things like this: You're not really a runner. If people saw you running, they would laugh at you. Who do you think you are? You're too tired to do this. You're too lazy to do this. If you tried to run a 10K, you would be the slowest runner there. 

You get the idea. 

I decided that this race was important to me. Not only because I was running for a cause I believed in, but because it would require me to change the way I talked to myself. It would require me to be kinder to myself. To learn to appreciate what my body is capable of doing. 

Last week, I figured it was time to get serious about training. I told myself that I was going to run 3 miles without stopping. (I've never done that before) Before I got on the treadmill, I told my body how grateful I was for it. I told it that it was amazing. That I didn't care if I was the slowest runner at the race, I was just grateful for legs that worked, for a heart that pumped blood to my legs, for lungs that filled me with oxygen. And as each mile passed me by, I told my body what a phenomenal job it was doing. My new ticker would read something like this: Great job, body! You are doing such an amazing job! I know you would LIKE to stop, but I'd really appreciate if you could run just a LITTLE bit further. Thank you SO much for cooperating!

You may think I'm a total looney, but it's working! Last week, I ran a total of 10 miles and this week I have increased my daily mileage to 4 miles. I still have 2.2 miles to go in order to be ready. I still may be the slowest runner at the race. But, I am learning to love my body and that is enough. 

Run for Congo Women

I've followed the work of Women For Women International for a couple of years so, when I heard they were hosting a 10K in Colorado, I decided to sign up!

Here's what their website says about the situation in the Democratic Republic of the Congo:

Over the past decade, a brutal conflict has devastated much of the eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), leaving the country without a functioning infrastructure and most families in a state of crisis. More than five million people have died as a result of the violent conflict, most through disease and malnutrition and. Women are often directly targeted by combatants using rape and other forms of sexual violence as a weapon of war.

 

Women for Women International in DR Congo is currently assisting almost 7,000 women through financial support and a one year program that includes rights awareness, health education, and skills training. The organization works with communities in Bukavu, Goma, Fizi and Baraka in the heavily affected South and North Kivu provinces in Eastern Congo.

There are two ways that YOU can help:

1. Sponsor a woman living in the DRC. For $27 a month, you can help change the life of a Congolese woman. The direct assistance from sponsorship will help them to pay for food, medicine, and other lifesaving needs. It also supports the educational efforts of Women for Women International. To become a sponsor, click here. 

2. Participate in my 10K fundraiser by donating to my page. Make a secure, online donation by clicking here. 

The race is Saturday, September 19th, so please help me reach my goal before then!

"There are plenty of people who pray for peace, but if praying were enough, it would have come to be." 

--Jewel