Bumbo Love

Have you heard

of

the Bumbo seat?

This

kid

LOVES

it.

And I

LOVE

this

kid.

Can

you

tell?

"How I spent my weekend." By Milo Baker

I picked apples with Mom and Dad. (Except it's too late in apple picking season to get any good ones. Dad found two.)

I went to the Royal Gorge. (Except it's $25 a person to walk across the bridge. My mom and dad are cheap skates so we just took pictures from a distance.)

I went to Georgetown for the Aspen Fest. (The trees were pretty but there was too much traffic on the way back to Denver. I got hungry. I cried.)

The end.

"Google doesn't have children."

Reason #2.3 million why I love Iliff?

Your advisor doesn't forget about you after you graduate and "sends" this to you on facebook.

Love it.

(For maximum viewing enjoyment, turn off the music player so you can hear the music in the video)

A Mama Confession: This is hard.

(Lest you read this post and get the impression I think motherhood is a cake walk...)

I know Milo is a good baby. I love him. I am lucky to be his mom. But holymarymotherofjesus, being a mama is hard.

Last night I had to pray to God. For real. Because at 4:30 a.m. I needed help. I've done enough spiritual discernment to know I shouldn't expect immediacy from God--that when I ask God for something I shouldn't expect immediate (if any) results. But I think God might have a clause for new mothers because last night I prayed--out loud--"HELP!" I prayed that God would zap me immediately with the patience I needed to endure Milo's 4 a.m. feeding without screaming at him or leaving him in his crib while I drove to Mexico.

Like I said, Milo's a good baby. But last night at 4:30, when Milo was awake for the third time and the world's largest booger was stuck in his right nostril making it impossible for him to breathe and eat at the same time and David, who is way better than me at extracting boogers with the suction bulb thingy, was at work, we both cried.

I'm sure Milo thinks it's way harder to be a baby than it is to be a mama.

Lucky for both of us, God sensed my urgency and responded. I found enough patience and kindness to finish Milo's feeding, ginormous booger and all.

This morning I needed out of the house. David needed to sleep and I needed out of the house. So I packed Milo up and took him to a breastfeeding group that my friend took me to last month. We're not really having trouble with breastfeeding, I just wanted to be surrounded by other non-baby human beings.

I cannot tell you how comforting it is to be supported by other mothers. The woman who sat next to me started crying as soon as she sat down and told me she is just. so. tired. And I didn't even know her name but I felt like I could have hugged her and said, "I know how you feel, sister!"

It was so nice hearing that other mothers have babies who only sleep 3 hours at a time at night and who also want to eat every 2-2.5 hours. (Babywise and other such "resources" make me feel like he should be on a better feeding schedule and should be sleeping through the night by now.) I've decided that most mothers are flooded with guilt and anxiety and worry because, let's be honest, keeping another human being alive is hard. freaking. work.

So, Mr. Babywise author man, unless you are volunteering to come over tonight at 4 a.m. and suction my baby's nose, feed him a bottle, and change his diaper while I sleep, I've had just about enough of you thank you very much.

milo's second month

Happy 2 months, Milo!

Happy day, Milo! You are two months old today!

I can’t believe your dad and I have managed to keep you alive for 62 days. And not only that, you are healthy and growing and happy.

You really are a sweet, sweet baby Milo. I don’t pretend to know how we ended up with such a perfect baby, but you really are just so sweet.

Saturday morning I knew you were awake but I didn’t go in to get you right away. When I did go in your room, I could see you were happily kicking your legs and sucking on your fingers and when I got to the side of your crib, baby, you looked up, saw me, and smiled.

No, you beamed.

You smiled so big I thought my heart might explode. It was the first time I really feel like you knew I was your mom. Like, “Hello! You are the woman who has been caring for me all this time and I think I love you! You are my mama!”

You’re changing so fast Milo and I feel so lucky to see you everyday and watch you change. Honestly, you do something every day that makes me say “Well, this is new!” Like you are now holding objects—mostly your blanket or your lovey—and you like to rub them against your face or put them in your mouth. And I bought you a $5 play gym at a consignment sale that has a mirror on it and so now you like to look at yourself and study your own face.

And you are smiling. All the time. And one time I heard you laugh. I laid you in the cradle in our bedroom and Zoe came to the side of the cradle where your hand was sticking out between the spindles. She started licking you furiously and you thought it was hilarious. You let out a squeal of delight that was so fantastic I can still hear it in my mind.

But it’s not just you who is changing, baby. I’m changing too. You are making me a better person. Less selfish. More patient. Less anxious. And utterly filled with gratitude. I catch myself dozens of times a day feeling so thankful that all I can do is whisper a “thank you” prayer and send it up into the heavens. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, to deserve the joy you bring me. I don’t know how my heart can possibly feel this full.

My mother-friend from seminary recognizes this feeling and calls it grace.

I think she’s right.

I love you, Milo!

Love, Mama

My Little Houdini

For those of you who aren't parents or who don't know how a "Miracle blanket" works, this is what a "good" swaddle looks like:

However, yesterday morning when I went in to get Milo, THIS is what I found:

a weekday getaway

We only have one income. (Ok, TECHNICALLY I have an income but it barely covers our monthly diaper expenses...)

One income means there are lots of things we DON'T do.

(Sometimes I dream about the things I would do with disposable income...hair cut! highlights! pedicure! massage! new pants...with a zipper!)

BUT, only having one income means we have something really, really big.

TIME.

David works three days a week. I work 6 hours a week. Which means a.) we get to spend a LOT of time with our awesome dude, Milo and b.) we can go to Breckenridge on a Wednesday.

Which we did. And we had a blast.

Milo's First Hike

This is a good place, Milo.

I took Milo to church on Sunday.

I wasn't really ready to go to church, but my maternity leave was over and it was time for me to return to Trinity. I'm working part-time (like 6 hours a week) so you'd think I could manage without complaining.

But the truth is, I've enjoyed not going to church on Sundays. I've enjoyed, instead, going to our local farmers market, getting breakfast from the Biscuit Bus, and taking Milo for walks. Not to mention that my uber favorite time with Milo is in the morning. He wakes up between 6 and 7 so instead of nursing him in his room, I bring him to our bed to nurse. He eats, we doze, he wakes up, we "talk." It's lovely. So having to actually get out of bed and be somewhere proved very difficult.

Throw into the mix that I don't even really know if I like working in a church. You'd think that, after 3 years of seminary, I would be more excited about working in a church but I'm not. I don't always like the church. It can be exhausting to work in a church. Churches are filled with crazy people. (Myself included, I suppose) The Church (with a capital "C") can be oh so aggravating.

Anyway, Milo and I made it to church. I forgot my nursing pads (!), Milo cried all the way there, and we arrived 30 minutes late, but we made it. In my rush to get ready, I hadn't even finished my coffee. I was cranky.

But, luckily, God is a God of grace and surprises.

When I went to check my mailbox, I found that the McFaddins (an older couple in the church who serve as greeters) had made Milo a name tag. Milo is 7 weeks old and he has a name tag. With a teddy bear sticker on it.

And then, during fellowship hour, Pastor Paul--the same pastor who had just preached a sermon--took the time to give Milo a bottle.

And a woman who is homeless came to fellowship hour to eat a bagel and drink some coffee told me what a beautiful baby Milo was. And he smiled at her.

Plus, on Tuesday I took him to staff meeting with me. I was nervous about bringing a baby to staff meeting and worried they would think he was too distracting. But they took turns holding him, feeding him, burping him, and rocking him to sleep. At the end of the meeting, when Rev. Brunner was holding my sleeping baby, he said to me, "Tiffany, I think Milo knows this is a good place."

And I got a little teary-eyed. Because, Milo, even though the Church is a messy place with messy people, sometimes we get some things right. Yes, this is a good place, Milo.

three minutes of milo

labor day

a free day at...

denver botanic gardens...

with this guy...

and this guy...

plus eating grilled veggies on our patio...

plus roses David picked for me from our backyard...

equals the best labor day ever.

It's beautiful

Milo is cooing now.

And it is the softest, most heart-warming, and beautiful thing I've ever heard.

Plus, he loves Jack Johnson. The new song on our blog playlist came on Pandora last night and he was "talking" up a storm, which I am taking as indication that he is a Jack Johnson fan. Good boy. =)

The best thing about having a baby?

ridiculously.

cute.

outfits.

I'm back! ...sort of

Some of you may remember last September when I trained for and ran my first 10K. I was slow, but I ran the whole time without walking or stopping. Last September I was the healthiest I've ever been.

And then I got pregnant.

And I stopped running.

And I gained 48 pounds.

But on Tuesday I had my postpartum checkup and the doctor gave me the "go ahead" for exercise. So, this morning I put on my too-tight running clothes and dusted off nearly a year's worth of dust and dog hair from our treadmill.

And I "ran." I use the term loosely because it took me 17 minutes to run/walk one mile. My pelvic area hurt, places jiggled that never jiggled before, and my lungs felt like they were on fire. I felt like I was going to die.

But then I remembered that I pushed a nearly nine-pound baby out of my body for over 3 hours. And I pushed myself a little harder.

It wasn't pretty, but I did it. I ran. And, with any luck and a lot of sweat, I'll be back at my pre-baby running level soon.

Milo meets the family

Oops

Last week we took our first road trip with Milo to KC. We remembered to pack his swaddle blankets, sleep sheep, sleep positioner, diapers, bottles, burp cloths, blankets, moby wrap, and baby thermometer. I even remembered his suction bulb thingy in case he had a stuffy nose.

However, I forgot my camera. =(

I will try to post pictures after I steal some from people who DID take pictures this weekend...

In other news, Milo did GREAT in the car. We stopped every 3 hours for him to eat but, other than that, all he did was sleep! We had a great time showing him off in KC. There is certainly no shortage of love and affection there--Milo is one loved little boy. It made my mama heart swell with pride and joy.

Milo is 6 weeks old today and I swear he's bigger today than he was yesterday. He is now cooing and grasping objects (This probably seems lame to you but feels like a big deal to his mama!) and has been eating more frequently so I feel like we're probably in the middle of a growth spurt.

Oh, how I love him. =)