"how to teach your parents a very important lesson" by milo baker

Yesterday my parents decided to take me hiking.

And I decided to teach them a lesson.

They wanted to "get outside" on a beautiful, Colorado day. They said I had to come too since Midas and Zoe are unreliable babysitters.

I tried to play along.

I woke up happy.

I entertained myself with my rock-n-crawl ball while they packed the car.

I giggled and played with my toes on the 45-minute drive to the mountains.

Mom & Dad put me in the hiking backpack.

I looked adorable.

I even acted interested in the "wildlife." (Mom & Dad got all excited showing me the squirrels. Um, hello dummies, we have those in our backyard.)

But, then I got tired.

Really, really tired.

I tried to tell my parents I was tired. But they kept hiking.

I started crying.

Hard.

My dad said something to my mom like "I didn't really think the trail was this long."

And my mom said something to my dad like "I can't believe we left his pacifier in the car."

Seriously, these people are allowed to raise me?

I cried and cried and cried.

My mom tried to nurse me on a rock by the trail. But that wasn't what I wanted.

I cried super loud into my dad's ear, but he kept walking. Really fast. At one point, I could no longer feel my mom following behind us. It's a miracle we didn't lose her.

I finally convinced my dad to take me out of the stupid backpack and carry me like a normal person. When people passed us, they laughed at us. My dad carrying me. My mom carrying the ginormous (and now empty) backpack carrier. And me, crying. I didn't care. I kept crying.

We finally made it back to the car. I fell asleep before we even made it down the mountain.

I don't think we'll be hiking again any time soon.

Because that, my friends, is how I taught my parents a very important lesson.

Don't ever, EVER mess with my nap time.

Ever.