Happy 1 month, Milo!

Milo is one month old!

Can you handle the cuteness???

He's SO done with pictures...

Happy day, Milo! You are one month old today!

One month.

In some ways, it feels like I blinked and you turned one month old. In other ways, it feels like the longest 31 days of my life! Already I can't imagine my life without you.

One month. One whole month.

We've come a long way, baby! (You, me, and your dad) You are sleeping longer at night (sometimes 4.5 hours between feedings!), can hold your head up, and are starting to focus your eyes on us. Occasionally, we can get you to smile--usually in the morning when you are happiest.

Milo, on your one month birthday I have a secret to tell you. I'm really starting to like you. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. Of course, I loved you the moment you were born but I didn't know you. You were as foreign to me as a unicorn that speaks Russian. I feel like I am learning you, getting to know you, getting to know all about you, getting to like you, getting to hope you like me... (Have you learned yet that your mom is a total cheeseball?)

Even though you throw me some kind of curveball every day, I'm beginning to learn your noises and cries. I'm figuring out which cries mean you need to burp and which cries mean you're tired and, of course, I've learned which cries mean you just want your mama to hold you. I love, love, love holding you. Even though I'm excited for you to be older (I've learned newborns aren't really my gig), I'm trying to savor the moments of holding you--the way your legs bend up underneath your body and your head is still sort of floppy and the way you smell.

Don't get me wrong, little one. Your mama is also exhausted and only gets to shower on days your dad isn't working. (Lucky for all of us, he only works 3 days a week) I'm also grieving the loss (at least the temporary loss) of my former life. Last August I was in Palestine. The August before that I was taking water to migrants on the border. Now I am changing poopy diapers and going to Target with baby spit up on my shirt. There have been times when I have wished for my life before you, but they are getting fewer and farther between. Mostly, I am just so, so glad you are mine.

Every night I sing you this song so I thought I'd include it in your one-month letter. I haven't done a thorough analysis of its theological implications, but my mama sang it to me and now I'm singing it to you...

When Jesus sent you to us,

we loved you from the start.

You were just a bit of sunshine

from heaven to our hearts.

Not just another baby,

'cause since the world began

There's been something very special

For you in God's plan.

That's why

God made you special.

You're the only one of your kind.

God gave you a body

and a bright healthy mind.

God had a special purpose

that God wanted you to find

So God made you something special,

You're the only one of your kind.

I love you, Milo!

Love,

Mama

(In order to hear the video, you'll have to stop the music player at the bottom of the page.)