big guy & little guy

I love this big guy & this little guy.

But, what do I love

even more?

How much

this little guy

loves

this big guy

& how much

this big guy

loves

this

little guy.

blessed are the troublemakers

Dear Milo,

I took this picture of you the other day.

You look adorable. But I started to think. If peace signs are "cool," cool enough to put on baby onesies & baby hats, then I'm not sure we're teaching you the right things. Because, Milo, being a peacemaker is so much more than wearing a peace sign.

A few weeks ago I went to church without you & the sermon was about the Beatitudes. You're too little right now, but some day Mama will teach you about the Beatitudes. Because they might be one of my favorite parts of the Bible.

The sermon was good, but something that was said during the children's moment has really bothered me. I'm not trying to pick on the person who did the children's moment. After all, talking about things in the Bible in a way that kids can understand them is really, really hard to do.

The thing that bothered me is that, when explaining the beatitude "blessed are the peacemakers," the kids were told that this means God likes it when we don't cause trouble.

And it got me thinking.

I started thinking about peacemakers. The ones I've read about & the ones I know personally. And, Milo, I think almost every single peacemaker who came to mind has been arrested. Maybe not all of them, but most of them. Not because they are bad people, but because they were, indeed, causing trouble.

You see, Milo, there are lots & lots of things in our world that aren't right. There are lots of things that are unfair. And sometimes, in order to make things fair, in order to make things right, you have to cause a little trouble. And the reason the Beatitudes are so ridiculous is because Jesus is saying the very opposite of what the storyteller during the children's moment was saying. Jesus says "blessed are the peacemakers," but he really means, "blessed are the people who get in trouble trying to make things fair."

Before you were born, Mama & two of her friends went to the Sea of Galilee & climbed up Mt. Beatitude. Here is Mama on Mt. Beatitude:

It was really special to be at the Sea of Galilee & to be in the place where Jesus said, "blessed are the peacemakers." But, Milo, being there was scary. We went there to be with people who get in lots & lots of trouble because they are trying to make things more fair. We even got into some trouble ourselves. It is hard, hard work to be a peacemaker, Milo.

In a few weeks, you will be baptized. Mama & Daddy will stand up with you at the front of the church & present you for baptism. Your grandparents will be there, too. And then the pastor will baptize you with water that Mama collected from the Sea of Galilee.

I still remember taking off my shoes & socks, wading out into the chilly water, leaning over & collecting water from the Sea in an empty water bottle. I didn't have you yet, but I was hoping for you.

And I still hope for you, Milo. I hope that, on the day of your baptism, you will know that you are loved. I hope you will grow up confident in your identity as a child of God. And, I hope you will always remember the water that baptized you. The water that holds the whispers of a promise...

Blessed are the troublemakers, for they shall be called the children of God...

Love,

Mama

love

I have to admit, I'm LOVING this phase in infant-dom. Yes, I miss the teeny tiny baby, but this guy is so much fun.

One of my favorite things about him now? He sleeps on his belly & when I go get him after his naps, he pops his head over the side of the crib & smiles at me.

Today, I was able to catch it on video.

Sigh.

I love this face.

i feel the need to babyproof. very, very soon.

of course

Of all the toys

this kid has,

do you know

his favorite

thing to play with?

A

clementine,

of course.

working moms

(I wrote this post on my phone on Sunday but am just now posting it!)

Let me preface this post by saying I believe all mothers are working moms. Some work outside the home & have paying jobs. Some stay home to care for their children full-time & don't get paid. All moms work.

But, seriously.

Every Sunday, my respect for mothers who mother AND work outside the home deepens.

I have the luxury of working part-time so Sunday morning is really the only morning that I am responsible for getting myself & my infant son out the door. And two Sundays out of the month, David is working, too, so I do it all by myself. (All you single, working moms out there? You deserve a medal of honor!)

This morning I had to shower & wash my hair. (I try to avoid washing it on Sunday mornings but I couldn't remember the last time I washed it & I had some serious bed head.) Thank you, God, for PBS kids on Sunday mornings. Evidently, even six-month-olds love Curious George!

I waited until the last possible minute to get dressed in order to give myself the highest probability of walking out the door without baby spit up on my sweater. I managed to make myself breakfast, feed Milo twice, change him, dress him, pack his diaper bag, get dressed, grab the canned food items for the donation box, put the dogs away, change outfits (because now I was covered in dog hair), drive to church, arrive early, discover that the baby fell asleep in the car, drive around the block a couple of times to prolong the baby's nap by a few minutes, & then manage enough poise to fake my way through leading a discussion.

If you know a working mom, I encourage you to tell her how amazing she is. If you ARE a working mom? God freakin' bless you!!!

a mama confession: my marriage needs babyproofing

Let me take you back to May 2010. David & I were taking childbirth classes. Our instructor devoted half of an entire class to a topic she called, "babyproofing your marriage."

I thought it was a waste of time.

I thought to myself, "I suppose OTHER couples need to hear this, but I don't. My marriage is rock solid!"

Fast forward to December 2010. I frantically try to remember the title of the book our instructor recommended. I reserve a copy at the library & I pick it up as soon as it comes in. I read the entire book in two days & earmark half the book for David to read.

You see, my marriage WAS rock solid. I love being married to David. I love who David is as a person. I respect & admire him.

But, OMG. I was NOT prepared for the ways having a baby would change our relationship.

Don't get me wrong. There are lots of really, really wonderful moments as a family of three. There are moments when Milo does something amazing & we look at each other with love and affection and we think, we MADE him! He's perfect & he's ours. Life could not BE any more wonderful!

But there are other moments too. Moments like the other day. When I was stressed out about Milo missing his 3rd nap & the fact that he hasn't pooped since Wednesday. Moments when I turn to David & ask, "Do you remember me being this uptight BEFORE Milo was born?" To which David takes his time & finally responds with, "Is this a trick question?"

Sometimes I think it's a miracle that David hasn't left me yet.

The fact is, (if you're a parent, I'm not telling you ANYTHING you don't already know) having a baby is earth-shattering. It's relationship-shattering. In good ways AND bad.

Lucky for me, I found solace in reading Babyproofing your Marriage: How to Laugh More, Argue Less, & Communicate Better as Your Family Grows.

Here is what I found most helpful:

The authors argue that post-baby conflict in previously conflict-free marriages is normal.

"Most couples, no matter how happy & secure their marriage may be, find the early parenting years a challenge (on a good day) or even seriously relationship-threatening (on a bad day)." In reference to becoming new parents, the authors say, welcome to the foxhole.

They suggest that the break down of our former lives (& former marriages) can be productive.

"Babies break us down & rebuild us into parents. They flatten everything in sight, & then make us better, stronger, & hopefully, wiser than we were before."

They don't ignore the sleep factor.

"We hear rumors before the baby arrives about the impact of sleep deprivation, but no one can prepare us for this kind of pain & suffering. Continuous sleep deprivation can make the most sane, level-headed people irritable, irrational, or just plain crazy. It is a cruel irony that we are expected to deal with one of the most difficult challenges of our lives on a wing & a prayer & a thirty-minute nap."

In my opinion, the authors hit the mark on so many things. They talk about "the mommy chip," scorekeeping, & the pressure of extended families.

One of the important take-aways for us was the importance of having a regular date night. Married couples (including David's parents!) have told us over & over again how important date nights are, but we had nearly given up. Between David's wacky work schedule (he often works weekends & has weeknights off) & not wanting to spend money on a baby sitter, we weren't having any date nights.

The book encouraged us to be more creative. And so, last Tuesday, David went to get take-out from a nearby Mexican restaurant while I bathed the baby & put him to bed. We had dinner at our dinner table (gasp!) instead of sitting on the couch in front of the TV. We watched a redbox movie & didn't use our phones to check facebook or look up snowboard videos. It was really, really nice & provided some much-needed babyproofing.

I'll leave you with my favorite story from the book:

"One Friday night, a couple of hours after I'd put our two-month-old, Kate, to bed, Mike asked me if I wanted to get a video. 'Great idea,' I said. We both got in the car and drove the less than five minutes to the video store. As I got out, I suddenly remembered that (a) we had a baby and (b) we had left that baby at home. I was in a blind panic and close to tears. How could I have forgotten about Kate? Mike, however, thought that we should still get a video. 'It's not like she can get out of the crib and we're already right here...'"

Parenthood. It's good times.