is it just me?

Is it just me

or

is this guy

looking

less & less

like a baby

and

more & more

like

a

little boy?

what is ash wednesday?

This video does a great job explaining Ash Wednesday in two minutes!

why I won't be on facebook for 6 weeks

Yesterday, I posted on facebook that I might give it up for Lent.

And a firestorm ensued.

Ok, it wasn't really a firestorm, but it felt like one to me.

I was immediately criticized. And judged. And told I shouldn't "give something up" but "take something on."

Once I got over feeling defensive, I decided that the reaction to my "leaving" facebook for six weeks had very little to do with me. No one asked me why I was leaving facebook. No one cared what my reasons were (reasons I'll get to in a moment). Instead, I think people interpreted my decision to leave facebook as a criticism of them. Which it wasn't. This isn't about them. Or you. Or anyone else. This is about me.

Let me begin by saying there's absolutely nothing wrong with facebook. I think facebook is fun & entertaining. Heck, facebook fueled a revolution in Egypt so I'm not arguing it's a bad thing.

But, here's my confession: I'm a facebook addict. It's like crack. (Except, not really, I know that.)

If you're not on facebook, you probably think I'm ridiculous. But if you ARE on facebook, I think you maybe understand what I mean. It's fairly addictive. It's distracting. It's entertaining.

And, for me, it's a total time suck.

When David & I got smart phones, it got worse. When I only checked facebook on my computer, it was one thing. But my phone? My phone is with me at all times! And, with one click of a button, I can know what is happening in the lives of my 427 friends.

Here's where I come clean:

I check my facebook, on my phone, first thing in the morning. It's true. I roll over, pick up my phone, and look at facebook before I get out of bed.

And at night? It's how I "wind down."

I check it when I'm nursing Milo.

Or when Milo's playing on the floor & I'm bored.

Annndddd... (get ready to judge me)... I check it at stoplights when I'm driving. OMG.

So, recently, I started wondering why I'm on so much. Here's what I came up with:

*I feel affirmed about who I am. If I post something smart & witty or if I post an adorable picture of Milo & people "like" it, I feel affirmed. I feel valued. It is ridiculous how good it feels when someone "likes" something I posted on facebook.

*I feel connected. I feel like I'm not alone. I feel "in the loop." (My friend Greta jokes that facebook is her leading source of news & it's true for me too!)

*I get bored. I totally, totally, totally love my son. But, seriously. Sometimes, being a stay-at-home mom is sooooooooo boooorrring. I long for adult human contact.

*I've found a community of moms. Facebook is great for getting feedback about baby products & information about feeding, sleeping, etc.

However, I've recently been evaluating this. Is it harmful that I seek so much affirmation from facebook? Am I really connecting with other people? Really? Do I really need to know what's going on in the life of a person I talked to twice in highschool? And does it matter if I'm "in the loop" if it's keeping me from being present to the life that's happening in my very own home?

I'm beginning to suspect that the things I'm looking for--to feel noticed, to feel affirmed, to feel valuable, to feel connected--are needs that simply can't be met on facebook.

Plus, facebook can simultaneously make me feel really, really crappy about myself. When I wanted desperately to have a baby, I had to hide all my friends with babies. When Milo wasn't sleeping, I had to hide all my friends with babies who slept through the night. When I feel bad that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I hide my friends with exciting & fulfilling professional careers. When I feel guilty that I'm not a good stay-at-home mom, I hide my friends who take their babies to music classes & chinese story-telling. Your baby's crawling? Hide. You've lost all your pregnancy weight? Hide. You're getting ordained? Hide. You can afford a vacation to Mexico? Hide.

If I haven't hidden you, it's either because I genuinely like you or because you make me feel better about my life. Yes, it's true. Sometimes I look at my facebook friends and think, "OMG, at least I'm not that pathetic."

So, anyway, Lent starts on Wednesday.

I've never been a big fan of "giving something up" for Lent. I don't pretend to think that giving up chocolate or diet coke will bring me closer to God.

But I do believe in making space.

And I desperately need to make space.

Space to feel safe.

To feel whole.

To feel like I am enough.

Space to trust in my own goodness.

Space to be present in my own life. Here & now.

Space to believe, with every fiber of my being, that I am loved by the Divine Creator, whose spirit palpates through me at every moment.

If only I'd get off facebook long enough to realize it.

Meatless Mondays: Cous Cous

Today's "Meatless Monday" recipe is a staple at our house. It's SO easy & delicious that we have it almost every week. I modified this cous cous recipe from my friend, Lauren, who gives me lots of yummy meat-free ideas!

"Once-a-week cous cous"

1 package cous cous, any flavor (I like the roasted garlic & olive oil)

1 bunch of broccoli, steamed

1/3 c. sun dried tomatoes (If you buy julienne cut, no prep needed)

1/3 c. feta cheese crumbles

1/2 c. cashews

1. Prepare cous cous using directions on the box. (If you've never made it, it's SO easy, I promise)

2. Steam broccoli. (I like to saute the broccoli in my electric skillet with a little bit of olive oil before I steam it.)

3. Combine cous cous, broccoli, sun dried tomatoes, feta cheese, & cashews in a large bowl. (Feel free to adjust the amounts of each. I never measure--I just dump in what looks like a good amount!)

Yum.

awake training for parents

A friend posted this on facebook & I thought it was HILARIOUS!

(By the way, I only found it hilarious because my baby is finally sleeping!)

Dear Fellow Babies,

OK, here’s my situation. My Mommy has had me for almost 5 months. The first few months were great – I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, around the clock. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep thru the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse.

I’ve talked to other babies, and it seems like its pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 5-6 months. Here’s the thing: these Mommies don’t really need to sleep. It’s just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep – they just don’t need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.

It goes like this:

Night 1 – cry every 3 hours until you get fed. I know, it’s hard. It’s hard to see your Mommy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it’s for her own good.

Night 2 – cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3 – every hour.

Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly after about 3 nights. Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don’t give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she will expect it every night. I know it’s hard! But she really does not need the sleep; she is just resisting the change.. If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can stop crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do it.

The other night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to stick to it and just go for it. BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I could come up with:

-My sleep sack tickled my foot.
-I felt a wrinkle under the sheet.
-My mobile made a shadow on the wall.
-I burped, and it tasted like rice cereal. I hadn’t eaten rice cereal since breakfast, what’s up with that?
-The dog said “ruff”. I should know. My Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL.
-Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room.
-Too hot, too cold, just right – doesn’t matter! Keep crying!!
-I had drooled so much my sheets were damp and I didn’t like it touching me.
-I decided I was sick of all the pink in my room so I cried.

It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to reset your Mommies’ internal clocks.

Sometimes my Mommy will call for reinforcements by sending in Daddy. Don’t worry Daddies are not set up for not needing sleep the way Mommies are. They can only handle a few pats and shhing before they declare defeat and send in the Mommy.

Also, be wary of the sleep sheep with rain noises. I like to give Mommy false hope that listening to the rain puts me to sleep sometimes I pretend to close my eyes and be asleep and then wait until I know Mommy is settling back to sleep to spring a surprise cry attack. If she doesn’t get to me fast enough I follow up with my fake cough and gag noise that always has her running to the crib. At some point I am positive she will start to realize that she really doesn’t really need sleep.

P.S. Don’t let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out.

Trust me.

Sincerely,
Baby J

baby yoga (also known as, "milo might be crawling soon!")

milo's new hobby

Thanks to Yia Yia & Opa, Milo has his very own swing in the backyard. And he LOVES it!