Run For Congo Women on Oprah

My Husband is AMAZING

So, in addition to being manly enough to run in a race that raises money for women in the Congo and letting hundreds of girls beat him because he is running at his wife's pace, my husband just found out that he passed his OB class! Only 2 more quarters and I am married to a NURSE!!! =) 

Steve and Patty's Visit

To have family that loves you is just about the greatest thing in the world. Enough said. =)

Learning to Love My Body: 10K Success!

Well, I did it! =)

I would have posted sooner but we have been enjoying our time with Steve and Patty who came for the weekend. (I'll post that next!) 

David and I ran the 10K in 1:12. David was sweet and ran at my pace--I KNOW he could have finished in half the time. For most of the race I was the very last runner, but somewhere around mile 4 we caught up with some runners who had decided to walk and ended up NOT finishing last. It meant a lot to us that Steve and Patty were there at the finish line to cheer us on! 

I was able to keep the same (albeit slow) pace for the entire race and did not stop to walk. Before I run my next long race I will need to practice grabbing water from a water station and drinking it while running--a lot of it went up my nose!

The weather was perfect and Bear Creek Lake was a picturesque place to run. I was worried that, since all of my training had been on a treadmill, I would have trouble running on the trail. There were a couple of tricky places (hilly and rocky) that I had to REALLY slow down but I stayed upright the entire time. =) 

One of the most memorable things about the day was hearing from Ani* before the race. Ani is a woman who came to the United States a year ago from the Democratic Republic of the Congo. She told part of her story about what life was like for her in the DRC. She spoke about the violence of war, the raping of women, and the rejection of women by their families after they have been raped. She talked about the effects of war, violence, and rejection on women's minds, bodies, and spirits. She cried as she told us that she was a victim herself. 

And then another woman, someone who works with Women for Women International, put her arm around Ani, looked her in the eye and said something to this effect: Ani, you are a brave, brave woman. You are beautiful and courageous. What was done to you was NOT your fault. You have to remember that. It is a horrific thing that was done to you and we are so grateful that you are here to tell your story so that horrific things might be stopped. 

In a world where women's bodies are exploited, sold, violated, hypersexed, and undervalued I believe that, for women, learning to love and care for our own bodies is a theological issue. We must believe our own bodies, however well they function or however too small/too big our various parts may be, are sacred and holy. I think that this is part of the work that Women for Women International is doing in the world and I am grateful for your generous donations. (Thanks to you, David and I raised over $250!) 

So here's to Ani, here's to women, and here's to loving, loving, loving our bodies! 

Firsts and Lasts

Today is the first day of my last year of seminary. I can't believe it! It doesn't seem possible that it's been two years since I was a brand new seminary student. (Remember these dorky pictures?!)

I am excited to see my friends and be on campus again. I am TRYING to get excited about full-time reading and paper writing. I know it is a luxury to be a full-time student and to be in a place I love. 

This morning I am feeling a mix of emotions as I am surrounded by firsts and lasts. I am trying not to panic about being this far in and still having no clear vocational answers. I am trying not to panic about leaving the security of graduate school and re-entering the workforce in a tough economy. I am trying not to panic about earning a degree that will not guarantee me more money than when I was a teacher. No, I will not panic. 

This morning I am comforted by the Lords, both THE Lord and one of my heroines, Ms. Audre Lord. =)

"For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope." Jeremiah 29:11

"When I dare to be powerful--to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." Audre Lord

Here's to firsts, lasts, and not being afraid! 

Talking to Myself, Part 2

5 more days until the big day and I'm getting nervous. 

I still haven't made it to 6.2 miles but I'm hoping the adrenaline on race day will help me finish. Right now it takes me 54 minutes to run 5 miles so I'm estimating it will take me 1:15 to finish the 10K. My goal is to finish without walking and without dying. =)

My friend, Lauren, has recently written about her own journey toward becoming a runner. To read her post, click here. 

I wanted to share a few more things about my training process. If you're looking for ways to improve your time, train for long distances, or a regimented training schedule, you won't find it here. I know absolutely nothing about any of that. 

What I can share is what has worked for me as I have tried to transform my own thinking about myself. I wrote this post about learning to talk kindly to myself and I wanted to share a few of my other "tricks." 

First of all, I'm a firm believer that you have to focus on the good. When I was a teacher and had to do parent teacher conferences, I always, always started the conference by sharing something good about my student. Sometimes that was hard. Sometimes I had a student who was three grade levels behind in reading and math and who never turned in her homework, who got in trouble every day and had trouble getting along with her peers. Despite all this, I would search deep down and find something positive to say. "Ms. Johnson, your daughter sure has a lot of energy! I love that about her!" 

The same is true for training. Every day after I run, I make a list of things I did well that day. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I have to really dig deep to find something to be proud of. I kept running when I wanted to stop. I ran through that really painful cramp. I got out of bed this morning and went for a run even though I didn't want to. 

Doing this takes the emphasis off how far or how long I ran (because I'm NOT always proud of that) and focuses on the good. I believe that, just like with my students, being kind and gentle is more effective than beating myself up for what I can't do. 

Finally, I keep track of every day I run by circling the date in my calendar. Again, this takes the focus off of how far I ran and instead reminds me how hard I am working. Running is tricky. You have good days and bad days. Just because I ran 5 miles last week with no pain doesn't mean I can do it today. It is frustrating, but that's how it goes. Instead of focusing on the distance, I focus on the number of days that I get up and run. 

I hope this helps! I'd love to hear about your own struggles with running or with talking kindly to yourself!

God Bless the Freaks

My friend, Greta, just wrote a really awesome post titled, "God Bless the Freaks." You can read it here. 

I found her post really comforting because lately I've been feeling like a real freak, and by freak I mean so not normal. 

Part of it stems from being on facebook and feeling like I have way too many normal friends with normal jobs and normal houses and normal babies. (Talk about being a freak! Who quits their job, sells their house, and still has no baby after 6 years of marriage?! FREAKS!) 

Living fully into God's vision for our lives will make us, well, freaks. Believing that what we have is enough instead of wanting more, believing that life is more full when we live communally instead of trying to secure our own selves and our own families, resisting the pressure to work more and play less just so we have money to buy more stuff, and practicing radical and ridiculous generosity is so not normal. 

But this is why I love Greta's post. Because it asserts that God Blesses the Freaks. There is joy to be found in living a life that is not normal. 

I need to know that not everyone out there is normal. What makes you a freak? How are you living into God's vision for your life, despite the consequences?