Invited to Jerusalem

By now, some of you may be tired of hearing about my upcoming trip to Israel/Palestine. I'm afraid I haven't been a very good friend, sister, or daughter this last week because my mind and body are consumed with preparation!

Nearly 5 months ago, I preached a sermon for Ash Wednesday titled, "Invited to Jerusalem." I talked about how costly, scary, and dangerous it can be to follow Jesus to Jerusalem. My sermon was intended to be a metaphor for the ways we are called to follow Christ, however, tomorrow afternoon I will get on a plane with two others and join a team of 13 in the city of Jerusalem. I am filled with awe, excitement, and terror as I seek to follow Jesus to Jerusalem. Literally.

I remind myself that I am not doing this alone. I couldn't do this alone. I have felt God's presence with me through the many, MANY people who have told me they are praying for me and through the generous hearts who supported my trip financially. Please know I am making a list of names and taking it with me to remind myself that I am deeply connected to and supported by others!

Many people have asked me why I am going on this trip and I have had a hard time articulating a good answer. Let me be clear, I am not a martyr! I have every intention of returning safely to my husband and family! I have lost countless hours of sleep and shed many, many tears because I am afraid for my own safety. But, in those same moments of terror, I am convinced that this is something I want to do. I am convinced that all the anxiety and fear will be worth it because I believe God is stretching me, cracking me open a bit, to create new space for new learnings, love, and blessings.

I am going to Israel/Palestine to learn. I want to learn more about the conflict there--to hear stories from all kinds of people. I want to learn what it is like to live under occupation. I think it will make me a better bible scholar--after all, Jesus lived under occupation! I want to learn how people who suffer in unthinkable ways are able to construct a theology that sustains them. How do you remain grounded in God when all around you is violence and death?

I am also going to Israel/Palestine to be with those who are suffering. I cannot claim it as "solidarity," since our visit is so short. However, it is my hope that for a brief time, I can enter into the suffering of others and be present with them. My friend, Lauren, sent me Henri Nouwen's Compassion for my birthday. He writes, "The word compassion is derived from the Latin words pati and cum, which together mean "to suffer with." Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human...By setting out with Jesus on the road of the cross, we become people in whose lives the compassionate presence of God in this world can manifest itself."

That is my prayer. That God will help me overcome my own fears and anxieties in order to be present with people who are suffering. Amen!